Author: angelaatl77

The First Layer

by angelaatl77, posted in Work-Life Balance

My dad delivered mail for 30 years, and during the long hot Georgia summers, he would come home and immediately take a dip in our swimmig pool. He would say, “it gets the first layer off.”

Lately that phrase has been coming to my mind after several days of work where I haven’t had time to spend a full morning with my son. It usually seems to take a day or at least a few hours to relax, reconnect, and re-establish that rhythmic, harmonic feeling.  This time can feel distressing, like I’ve lost something, but then I think, “it’s like we are getting the first layer off.” 

I wonder how many parents ever get past that first layer, when the weekday never ends until 6:30, and weekends are filled with karate, soccer, and trips to Target. 

Grateful I am for the number of peaceful mornings we have spent co-existing in our home and connecting with each other and with the creative parts of ourselves. Somehow I feel if I can cultivate that gentle feeling at least a morning or two a week, then we will have a much better time living together the rest of his growing up years. 

Quality Time

by angelaatl77, posted in Work-Life Balance

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” ~ Henry Ford

I am not where I want to be when it comes to the balance between the time I work and the time I spend “homeschooling” my four-year-old son. But I persevere.

To try to take one or two full days during the week with him sounds wonderful, but is not usually realistic. So I have experimented in shifting our time together to the mornings rather than mid-afternoons. A day where spend the morning together and go our separate ways from 1-5 is almost as good as a full day together. It is immensely better than when our separation occurs from 8-1, and certainly from 8-3 or 4. Why? Because the mornings are such a precious, open time for creating and connecting. 

We both seem to flourish when we have our “yin” time at home together in the morning. Our rhythm leans toward the “yang” – being in the outer world – in the afternoon, so it lends itself to connecting with the nanny, with clients, etc. then.  Even delaying the start of my work day to 10 a.m. is an improvement over rushing to get to the office by 8:30, and postponing family time ’til the day’s tasks are through. 

Many days, I cannot make it happen. Not even the 10 a.m. start. But I think I am on to something, and awareness is the best way I know to work toward an ideal.

Sharks and Sounds

by angelaatl77, posted in Work-Life Balance

“What you are is what you have been.
What you’ll be is what you do now.” Buddha

IMG_0172

I feel my dream of being a part-time homeschool mom catching a spark. Following the “act as if” principle, I had a day off this week and “tried on” how it would feel if it were a regular homeschool day.

We had our breakfast shake in the bead room as we usually do when I have the time, and eased into the morning. After some time playing “cable wire man,” (where he takes my jewelry wire and connects it from a lamp to a nail hole in the wall) and trains, we got into a fun little animal unit study.

We have been talking a lot lately about reptiles (especially alligators), and this week he has been interested in fish and sharks. Using Modeling Clay Animals by Bernadette Cuxart, we got out our Stockmar Beeswax and fashioned a couple of sharks, complete with counting beads to use for teeth and eyes.

In the midst of our creating the animals and playing with them, we talked about how fish, reptiles and birds lay eggs, while whales and other mammals have babies. The fact-finding broke down when he insisted that Shirley and Shrek (the married sharks) have an octopus baby hatch from their egg … his name is Rex.

Not only did we have a lesson in animal taxonomy, but we had a speech breakthrough to boot. For a four-year-old still having trouble with his “s” sounds (he usually skips over the sound completely), a morning spent with sharks proved to be fruitful. He voluntarily practiced pairing “sh” with “irley” for Shirley the Shark. And he did it! Now he is practicing “Shirley” and “Shrek” regularly, usually saying “Sh — irley” and “Sh — rek” with long pauses between his new sound and the rest of the word, but he will smooth it out in no time.

These sweet and natural learning moments are why I am grateful to keep my child at home for a few more years. Mornings are such a peaceful, fun and creative time, and it seems so apparent that some of the best learning can happen then.

A Morning Shake Recipe

by angelaatl77, posted in Nutrition

– 1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
– 2 scoops SunWarrior Warrior Blend Vanilla Protein Powder
– 1 tbs+ Starwest Botanicals Organic Cinnamon
– 1-2 tsp Navitas Natural Raw Organic Cacao Powder
– 2tbs organic chia seeds or flax seeds – I am using Whole Foods 365 for each of these right now.
– 1tsp Starwest Botanicals Spirulina powder
– 1-2 organic bananas (2 if I don’t have an avocado)
– 1/2 – 1 organic Avocado (avocados give excellent consistency and nutrition and you can’t taste it unless it is too ripe)
– 1/2 cup frozen organic strawberries, raspberries or blueberries
– 1-2 organic lacianato kale leaves
– Enough water to fill the blender

I have been drinking some version of this shake every morning since I found out I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with my son. I needed to learn how to get plenty of nutrients without plenty of processed carbohydrates, and Aubrey at Juices Wild helped show me the way.

One of the first foods my son ate besides my milk was this shake. He still considers it a royal treat at four. We drink one every morning, and occasionally for dinner. It’s so nice when I take him for his yearly checkups and they ask, “How many servings of fruits and vegetables does he get per day?” I think of the bit of fruit he eats with meals and snacks (heavens forbid a vegetable), and come up with 2 or 3 max. Then I add in the 2 to 3 he gets with the shake (including KALE), and I feel like supermom.

Occasionally when I am too busy at work and feeling down about my role as a mother, my husband tells me, “Just keep feeding him that shake every morning. That’s the best thing you can do for him” This from the man who eats microwaved Jimmy Dean chicken biscuits for breakfast.

My favorite flavor right now is the cinnamon. I accidentally ordered a bag of cinnamon from Starwest Botanicals on my Amazon Prime Smile when I meant to order the spirulina. What a happy accident. This cinnamon is soooo much more fresh and cinnamony tasting than “spice rack” cinnamon.

Another ingredient I used for years was maca powder, and I really enjoyed its flavor and consistency. However someone brought up a possible issue with its role in regulating hormones and how it might not be appropriate for a child. So no more maca. If I were drinking these solo I might add maca again.

If you’re looking for a healthy and tasty way to start the day, consider experimenting with a shake. If you start your kids on it early enough, they’ll like it as much as we liked Fruity Pebbles.

Workin’ Mama Waldorf Blues

by angelaatl77, posted in Work-Life Balance

“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist…..Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist.”
~Stephen Hawking

Dah nu nu nu nuh

Oh where does the week go, Monday to Friday?
I had so many big plans, but they all fell away

Got out the Waldorf handbook, for ideas for my boy
But the demands of 9-5, they broke in and stole my joy

That book sat on the floor, reminding me of bread I haven’t baked
Of rhymes I haven’t sung, of crafts I haven’t made

Most of all it reminded me, of time I can’t spend
Mornings I have to leave him, with our next of kin

How can I build that shake shake bridge between work and home
How can ever I have it all, show it can be done?

Maybe answers will come, or maybe they won’t
Sometimes I feel it’s possible, and sometimes I don’t

Oh I’ve got the workin’, workin’ mama Waldorf blues.
It wouldn’t be so hard, if I didn’t have so much to lose ….

Communication Shows You Care

by angelaatl77, posted in Service, Success

“We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.” –Diogenes

Every measure of success in life stems from having successful relationships.

How is your marriage?  How are your kids turning out? How successful are you in your career? Do you have close friendships and strong bonds with your parents, siblings, extended family? How well do you feel you know yourself? How much have you grown in consciousness? How connected do you feel with your creator?

For all of us, the answer to any of the above is linked to the amount and quality of our communication in that arena. Smarts, looks, creativity, wealth – none of those can take us all the way, because none of them are about how we interact with others.

Communication nourishes deep, rich, lasting personal and professional relationships. In my life, I have felt the most self-understanding and growth when I have had a regular writing practice, another form of communication. I also write to God sometimes, and like Aibileen in “The Help” it seems to be like putting the universe on speed dial. In my mind, prayer is talking and meditation is listening. As with most relationships, better to do more listening than talking.

Of course, appropriate communication is best. With babies, the Waldorf camp says to speak in rhyme and song, as they are nurtured by the sound and rhythm, not the words themselves. Warmth and truth are key components to communicating with anyone, God included. While a little sugar coating can go a long way, being false gets us nowhere.

I do not fully agree with the cliche: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” Why? Because I believe it is always best to err on the side of communication.

If you are running behind on something at work or there is a glitch in a plan, write a note to the affected party, or better yet give them a call. This breeds trust, and it shows you care.

If you have a beef with your partner, TALK about it. Even if they do not like hashing things out, as long as your intent is to maintain harmony, they will appreciate it in the long run. It shows you care.

Ask questions. Of your colleagues, your kids, your mate, your friends, strangers, God. Listen to what they have to say. This helps you learn and grow, and it shows you care.

Write. Talk about your feelings with yourself. Keep a journal, or try a technique like Natalie Goldberg’s “Writing Down the Bones.” Your consciousness will grow like a weed.

We all go through bumps in the road. Daily. For me, whatever area of life seems to be bumpiest has to do with how much, how clearly, and how warmly I have expressed myself and how present I have been in the listening.

Why, and How, I am Considering Homeschooling

by angelaatl77, posted in Wellness

“Following your bliss is not self-indulgent, but vital; your whole physical system knows that this is the way to be alive in this world and the way to give to the world the very best that you have to offer. There IS a track just waiting for each of us and once on it, doors will open that were not open before and would not open for anyone else.”

Joseph Campbell

My mind is still open, but my cup is decidedly not empty. My boy is four, not eligible to start “Pre-K” until fall. His education is heavy on my mind.

My considerations are intertwined with my dreams on how I want to live; what I would change in past, present, future; as well as the many aspects of our life that I am grateful to preserve.

My husband says it is his (our son’s) education, not mine. I agree. But for now, he is four, and feel I know him pretty well.

Like me, he is not a socialite, although he is very engaged and engaging with one or a few people with whom he feels comfortable. He warms up to most and his confidence is on the upward slope.

He is bright as the North Star, and curious as the cat he used to pretend to be. His imagination satisfies; rather than one imaginary friend, he has 99 imaginary brothers and sisters, and six imaginary buddies – all dogs. Some under-rate inner life. I do not.

In my own school years, I excelled academically, made a few close friends, played a mean right-field on the softball team, and otherwise avoided being part of the larger scene. It wasn’t my thing. Partly due to a lack of self-confidence, I admit, but also partly to do with the feeling I had very little in common with the majority. I detest small talk. Perhaps if I would have had more confidence to give voice to the things I was interested in …

Most likely my son will have more confidence than I did to be his unique self as he grows. I expect he will. He may even be leader-like. This is the primary argument I still have with myself against homeschooling. How can you be a leader without peers?

Which is why I have come to the conclusion that I will take it year by year. In his fourth and fifth year, the next 18-20 months, I’m going to explore the possibilities of homeschooling. He would not start kindergarten until the month before his sixth birthday, so I should be able to keep the wolves at bay until then.

I want to meet the people around me who homeschool. God tends to lead us through experience. We clarify our own positions when we interact with people and situations. I have read and thought about homeschooling, but I have not actually stepped into the reality of it.

My exploration has been hypothetical in part because I am a working mom. Since before my son was born, I have dreamed of staying at home with him full-time. But God seemed to make that door difficult to open, and now I am grateful. I have a more mature perspective about the all-or-nothingness of the stay-at-home vs. work decision that seems to face us all. I am not alone. Thank you Penelope Trunk for validating my feelings. Your article was there when I was ready to look. And you pointed me to Lisa Nielsen, The Innovative Educator. I plan to read her e-book on working and homeschooling soon.

One question I’d like to explore: Do some families share responsibilities? If not, why not? Maybe it’s illegal, but that seems ridiculous. Why couldn’t my kid go to Jonny and Suzie’s for morning of stories and playtime, and then Jonny and Suzie come over to our house for a morning of nature and outdoors? Why could you not coordinate a whole group with this kind of turn taking? This would allow for socialization, and a little less one-to-one adult time. I could work or catch a yoga class when he is out of my house, and Jonny and Suzie’s mom, even if she is a stay-at-home, must have something she would like to do without her kids for a few hours. Unlike homeschool lessons parents pay for, which I also intend to try, this type of arrangement would be free, and freeing too.

Some may read the above and wonder why I don’t just send him to school if I am so interested in how I can get free time. Here are eight reasons:

1. Cinderblocks. Florescent lights. Lysol. (That’s three, but roll them up into one continuous sensory attack.)

2. The tyranny of the schedule. Early mornings. Five long days. Homework at night. Where is the dreaming, the playing, the deep exploration of subject matter that truly inspires?

3. Wasted time. It is inevitable that time is wasted in school. Time will certainly be wasted at home too, but I tend to believe the possibilities for constructive wasted time are greater in the home setting than during the artificial schedule of the school.

4. Classroom size. It is healthy for kids to spend time with other kids, and less time one-on-one with adults, but 30 to 1, all the time?

5. Educational approach. Seth Godin reminds us the multiple choice test is only 100 years old this year – an industrial-age tool to teach the masses. Certainly there are tons of great teachers, and innovative and wise approaches to teaching and learning going on in classrooms all over the world. Just as certainly, my child will be exposed to only some of it, and much of his time will be spent learning the old-fashioned industrial way. It excites me to explore the various educational approaches out there, and the subject matter, while coordinating my child’s education.

6. Nature. Mother Earth welcomes us to play and learn, and she is open Monday through Friday as well as the weekends. Thank you to The Homeschool Mom for suggesting the Alphabet Walk.

7. I’m going to say it. The hooligans. It’s not about class or race or religion to me. It’s about those kids who unfortunately have no leg to stand on. Who bully. Who take rebellion too far. It’s not their fault. It’s their parents – rich, poor, white, black, and all the in between – some parents do not give their children the love they deserve, and those children act out. It breaks my heart to see. Could my child help possibly help one of those kids? Could he learn from interacting with them? Yes and yes. But my mother instinct says at least in his earliest of formative years, expose him to the qualities I expect him to embody his whole life through.

8. It’s my dream. I can’t get it out of my mind, so I owe it to myself, my son, and perhaps society to pursue. I know I’m not the only mom who is unsure of being able to navigate earning money and raising her child outside of the confines of an institution. This is exactly why I want to try, and to take notes along the way. Quite possibly the door will close, my mind will change, and he’ll be at the elementary school reading See Jane Run before I know it. I’ve been wrong before. I’ll keep my ears and heart open along the way, and try to empty my cup often.

Why Blog?

by angelaatl77, posted in Service

“What you do is of little significance, but it is very important that you do it.”

Mahatma Gandhi

“Blog” – the word – has never pleased my ears. It seems not only to sound like, but to represent, something gross and uncouth. The hubris of these hoards of people spouting off their thoughts for all the world to hear, and who is listening?

Well, if I stick with this “web log,” it will become evident that my mind is on the changeable side. On the subject of blogging, Seth Godin led me to change it.

I just discovered Seth Godin listening to one of my recent steadies – “On Being” with Krista Tippett. I prefer her unedited cuts on podcast. After researching Godin it seems I could be embarrassed to admit that I just found him. However Godin himself said in the interview that people in public rarely recognize him, happily illustrating one of his critical contributions: “Mainstream” is becoming an archaic term. We have so many choices on how to connect that we are bound to miss plenty of “big” stuff, so embrace the diversity and contribute to it if you dare.

An aside: Thank God we do not depend on the major media outlets to provide all our information anymore.

I haven’t since read all of Godin’s books, but did listen to the audio of “Poke the Box.” He says to be an initiator. Start something. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Something that matters.

Here I am. It makes me uncomfortable sharing my private thoughts in public, whether in person or online. But my private thoughts concern universal matters that plenty of people see fit to write about. Mind, Body, and Spirit issues. Natural health. Tea. Yoga. Nature. Faith. Food. Technology. History. Freedom. Time. Money. Marketing. Parenting. Education. Creativity. Service.

I process so much information related to these matters, that perhaps I just want to have a place to catalouge my reactions to what I take in, to track the ever-evolving focus of my passions.

But it’s more than that. I live in the Bible Belt, sell for a Fortune 50 corporation, and generally fit in with the “mainstream.” Therefore I have fewer people with whom to talk about the deep stuff than I would like. So at Godin’s behest – I am not only seeking expression, but connection.

I now realize, it matters not if I reach a mass audience. It is inevitable that plenty will disagree. It is not about being “followed.” It is about contributing. If one person comes across one thing I say that helps them grow in consciousness, then I have served. If I connect with one person or idea based on this blog that helps me grow in consciousness, then good for me.

I’m Dreaming of a Brown Paper Christmas

by angelaatl77, posted in Simplicity

On December 23rd, this is how my craft room (affectionately called “the bead room” looked).

A mirror of my mind after 23 days of client well wishing, negotiating annual media campaigns, shopping, listing and planning. A jumbly-bumbly mishmash of mess.

Mid-way through the morning of wrapping, I had a vision.  Brown paper, in a roll. Accessorize with craft supplies I already have, like pipe cleaners, construction paper, stamps/ink, and ribbon. Be done.  Pleasing to the eyes, simple for the soul.

This vision involves the dear concept of using resources wisely, as opposed to constantly consuming. This concept always makes me feel creative and connected, but I only seem to remember it when I am sitting still.  In the middle of rushing around in the outside world, it seems more convenient just to buy an extra birthday bag even if you have 10 at home, to get that $1.99 roll of wrapping paper.

More to come on Simplicity. The Canton Friends Quaker website talks about five basic principles they call “testimonies.” Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality. SPICE.  I haven’t been to one of their meetings yet, but I like them already.

How else can we simplify the holiday season? I wonder if you could get gifts for your entire list at one bookstore…